潔兒與茱莉亞秀

主要索引標籤

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Jill Sobule : At a conference in Monterey by the big , big jellyfish tank ,

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I first saw you and I got so shy .

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You see , I was a little paranoid 'cause I might have been high .

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And I had n't done that in ages and I wo n't do that again .

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But that 's another story .

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Loved you forever and I 've been a big fan ,

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the one-woman shows , I even rented `` Pat . ''

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I got enough nerve to come up to you ,

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but little did I know one year later we 'd be doing this show .

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I sing . Julia Sweeney : I tell stories . Together : The Jill and Julia Show .

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Sobule : Sometimes it works . Sweeney : Sometimes it does n't .

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Together : The Jill and Julia Show .

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Sweeney : At a conference in Monterey next to the big , big jellyfish tank ,

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I first saw you and I was n't so shy .

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I made a beeline for you and told you what a huge fan I was ever since I was writing that pilot for Fox , and Wendy and I wanted you to do the theme song .
And then the pilot did n't go and I was so sad , but I kept remaining a fan of yours .
And then when I went through that big , horrible breakup with Carl and I could n't get off the couch , I listened to your song , `` Now That I Do n't Have You , '' over and over and over and over again .
And I ca n't believe you 're here and that I 'm meeting you here at TED .
And also , I ca n't believe that we 're eating sushi in front of the fish tank , which , personally , I think is really inappropriate .
( Laughter ) ( Applause )

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And little did I know that one year later ... we 'd be doing this show .

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Sobule : I sing . Sweeney : I tell stories . Together : The Jill and Julia Show .

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Sobule : Hey , they asked us back ! Sweeney : Can you stand it ? !

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Together : The Jill and Julia , the Jill and Julia , the Jill and Julia Show .

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Sobule : Why are all our heroes so imperfect ?

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Why do they always bring me down ?

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Why are all our heroes so imperfect ?

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Statue in the park has lost his crown .

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William Faulkner , drunk and depressed . Sweeney : Mmm .

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Dorothy Parker , mean , drunk and depressed . Sweeney : I know .

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And that guy , `` Seven Years in Tibet , '' turned out to be a Nazi . Sweeney : Yeah .

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Founding fathers all had slaves . Sweeney : I know .

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The explorers slaughtered the braves . Sweeney : Horribly .

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Sobule : The Old Testament God can be so petty .

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Sweeney : Do n't get me started on that . ( Laughter )

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Sobule : Paul McCartney , jealous of John , even more so now that he 's gone .

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Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie .

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Pablo Picasso , cruel to his wives . Sweeney : Horrible .

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Sobule : My favorite poets took their own lives .

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Orson Welles peaked at twenty-five , below before our eyes .

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And he sold bad wine .

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Together : Why are all our heroes so imperfect ? Yeah

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Why do they always bring me down ?

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Sobule : Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice . Sweeney : Oh .

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Lewis Carroll I 'm sure did Alice . Sweeney : What ? !

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Plato in the cave with those very young boys . Sweeney : Ooh ...

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Sobule : Hillary supported the war .

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Sweeney : Even Thomas Friedman supported the war . ( Laughter )

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Sobule : Colin Powell turned out to be ... Together : ... such a pussy . ( Laughter ) ( Applause )

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Sobule : William Faulkner , drunk and depressed ,

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Tennessee Williams , drunk and depressed . Sweeney : Yeah .

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Sobule : Take it , Julia .

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Sweeney : Okay . Oprah was never necessarily a big hero of mine .
I mean , I watch Oprah mostly when I 'm home in Spokane visiting my mother . And to my mother , Oprah is a greater moral authority than the Pope , which is actually saying something because she 's a devout Catholic .
Anyway , I like Oprah -- I like her girlfriendy-ness , I like her weight issues , I like how she 's transformed talk television , I like how she 's brought reading back to America -- but there was something that happened the last two weeks that was ... I call it the Soon-Yi moment : it is the moment when I can not continue supporting someone .
And that was that she did two entire shows promoting that movie `` The Secret . '' Do you guys know about that movie `` The Secret '' ?
It makes `` What the Bleep Do We Know '' seem like a doctoral dissertation from Harvard on quantum mechanics -- that 's how bad it is .
It makes `` The DaVinci Code '' seem like `` War and Peace . '' That movie is so horrible . It promotes such awful pseudoscience .
And the basic idea is that there 's this law of attraction , and your thoughts have this vibrating energy that goes out into the universe and then you attract good things to happen to you .
On a scientific basis , it 's more than just `` Power of Positive Thinking '' -- it has a horrible , horrible dark side . Like if you get ill , it 's because you 've just been thinking negative thoughts .
Yeah , stuff like that was in the movie and she 's promoting it .
And all I 'm saying is that I really wish that Murray Gell-Mann would go on Oprah and just explain to her that the law of attraction is , in fact , not a law .
So that 's what I have to say .
( Laughter )

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( Applause )

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Sobule : I sing . Sweeney : I tell stories . Together : The Jill and Julia Show .

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Sobule : Sometimes it works . Sweeney : Sometimes it does n't .

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Together : The Jill and Julia , the Jill and Julia , the Jill and Julia Show .

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( Applause )